# Description:
#   Display a ferengi rule of acquisition upon certain keywords.
#
# Dependencies:
#   None
#
# Configuration:
#   None
#
# Commands:
#   ferengi rule - Display a random ferengi rule of acquisition.
#
# Author:
#   jan0sch

rules = [
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #1:\n
  Once you have their money, you never give it back.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"The Nagus\", \"Heart of Stone\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #3:\n
  Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"The Maquis, Part II\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #6:\n
  Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"The Nagus\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #7:\n
  Keep your ears open.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"In the Hands of the Prophets\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #8:\n
    Small print leads to large risk.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #9:\n
  Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.\n
    -- ST:DS9, The Storyteller",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #10:\n
  Greed is eternal.\n
    -- ST:DS9, Prophet Motive",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #13:\n
    Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #16:\n
  A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Melora\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #17:\n
  A contract is a contract is a contract... but only between Ferengi.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Body Parts\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #18:\n
  A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Heart of Stone\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #19:\n
    Satisfaction is not guaranteed.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #21:\n
  Never place friendship above profit.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Rule of Acquisition\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #22:\n
  A wise man can hear profit in the wind.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Rule of Acquisition\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #27:\n
    There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #28:\n
  Whisper your way to success.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Treachery, Faith, and the Great River\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #31:\n
  Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"The Siege\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #33:\n
  It never hurts to suck up to the boss.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Rule of Acquisition\", \"The Dogs of War\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #34:\n
  War is good for business.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Destiny\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #35:\n
  Peace is good for business.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"The Perfect Mate\"; ST:TNG, \"Destiny\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #40:\n
    She can touch your lobes, but never your latinum.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #41:\n
    Profit is its own reward.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #44:\n
    Never confuse wisdom with luck.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #47:\n
  Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Rivals\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #48:\n
  The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Rule of Acquisition\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #52:\n
    Never ask when you can take.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Rule of Acquisition\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #57:\n
  Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Armageddon Game\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #58:\n
    There is no substitute for success.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #59:\n
  Free advice is seldom cheap.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Rule of Acquisition\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #60:\n
    Keep your lies consistent.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #62:\n
  The riskier the road, the greater the profit.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Rule of Acquisition\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #65:\n
    Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #75:\n
  Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Civil Defense\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #76:\n
  Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"The Homecoming\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #79:\n
    Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #82:\n
    The flimsier the product, the higher the price.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #85:\n
    Never let the competition know what you're thinking.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #89:\n
    Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #94:\n
  Females and finances don't mix.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Ferengi Love Songs\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #97:\n
    Enough ... is never enough.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #98:\n
  Every man has his price.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"In the Pale Moonlight\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #99:\n
    Trust is the biggest liability of all.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #102:\n
  Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"The Jem'Hadar\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #103:\n
  Sleep can interfere with your lust for latinum.5
    -- ST:DS9, \"Rule of Acquisition\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #104:\n
    Faith moves mountains ... of inventory.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #106:\n
    There is no honor in poverty.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #109:\n
  Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Rivals\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #111:\n
  Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Past Tense, Part I\", \"The Darkness and the Light\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #112:\n
  Never have sex with the boss's sister.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Playing God\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #113:\n
    Always have sex with the boss.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #121:\n
    Everything is for sale, even friendship.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #123:\n
    Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #125:\n
  You can't make a deal if you're dead.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"The Siege of AR-558\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #139:\n
  Wives serve, brothers inherit.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Necessary Evil\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #141:\n
    Only fools pay retail.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #144:\n
    There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #162:\n
    Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #168:\n
  Whisper your way to success.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Treachery, Faith, and the Great River\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #177:\n
    Know your enemies... but do business with them always.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #181:\n
    Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #189:\n
    Let others keep their reputation. You keep their latinum.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #190:\n
  Hear all, trust nothing.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Call to Arms\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #192:\n
    Never cheat a Klingon ... unless you can get away with it.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #194:\n
  It's always good to know about new customers before they walk in your door.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Whispers\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #202:\n
    The justification for profit is profit.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #203:\n
  New customers are like razor-toothed gree worms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Little Green Men\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #208:\n
  Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Ferengi Love Songs\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #211:\n
  Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Bar Association\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #214:\n
  Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"The Maquis, Part I\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #217:\n
  You can't free a fish from water.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Past Tense, Part I\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #218:\n
    Always know what you're buying.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #223:\n
    Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #229:\n
  Latinum lasts longer than lust.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Ferengi Love Songs\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #236:\n
    You can't buy fate.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #239:\n
  Never be afraid to mislabel a product.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Body Parts\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #242:\n
    More is good. All is better.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #255:\n
    A wife is a luxury ... a smart accountant a necessity.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #261:\n
    A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #266:\n
    When in doubt, lie.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #263:\n
  Never let doubt interfere with your lust for latinum.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"Bar Association\"",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #284:\n
    Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.\n
    -- ST: Legends of the Ferengi",
  "Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #285:\n
  No good deed ever goes unpunished.\n
    -- ST:DS9, \"The Collaborator\""
]

module.exports = (robot) ->

  words = ["ferengi rule", "money", "profit", "sale", "discount", "opportunity"]
  regex = new RegExp('(?:^|\\s)(' + words.join('|') + ')(?:\\s|\\.|\\?|!|$)', 'i');

  robot.hear regex, (msg) ->
    msg.send msg.random rules